haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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