He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
