I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
