went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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