Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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