I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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