we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
