12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish I only lived at night.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
