the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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