As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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