She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
