bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
