they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
