its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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