I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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