They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
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