Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
