you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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