im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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