What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
