You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
