just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
