Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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