question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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