bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize