ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
