There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
