hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
