I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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