I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
