The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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