god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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