I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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