Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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