If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
