she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
