my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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