I hope mine doesn't look like that
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You were trust falling into bushes
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
