You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
