Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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