There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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