Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
