you would pick up someone in the library
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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