SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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