i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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