Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
