what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He shit in the fireplace
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
