i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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