And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
