are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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