He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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