we're blogging at a bar
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
