hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
